i just wanna throw up cause i know i’ll feel better. fuuuck. i love being around family though.
coming home is like having a drug relapse. everything here feels familiar & feels goood. & the love is reciprocated. but i know i’m just here till monday & that just makes things worse. i’m trying to live in the present & trying to enjoy everything, but i keep thinking about how i’ll have to leave soon. & it doesn’t help that everyone’s response to everything is “that’s why you should move back here” -_____-“
it’s not so much that “there’s no place like sf” (although its VERY true), its more like “there’s no place like home”.
i woke up earlier than i intended to this morning & i was trying to force myself back to sleep, but then i heard this fast ass pitter patter across the floor above & thought: JADEN! i immediately got out of bed & went upstairs to play with him. i think it’s gonna be the hardest to say bye to him again, especially since everytime i’ve gone my separate way today i just say that i’m going to the “bathroom” or something. i love my little man :]
tonight was awesome. manny won the fight! although i’m not gonna lie.. i thought he wasn’t. it was just great to be around this side of the family again. it’s definitely a different kind of love here. an insulting kind of love. i missed being able to make insulting jokes & cussing at each other as normal conversation. it was also fucking awesome to see everyone’s reaction when they saw me lol.
& now, i have to get up in about 5 hours because bitches wanna tailgate before the game. FUCK YEAH NINERS :D lol.
i also like to call Jarrod my “michelin baby” lol. i swear man, ROLLS UPON ROLLS. obese ass baby lol. like i tried to carry him & lay his head against my chest & it couldn’t be done LMAO.
& i swear, the deacon who was in charge of the baptism tripped me out. he went on saying how he was gonna have to rush the baptism because of a special mass & just all this shit & he goes on for the longest time talking about his LIFE STORY. about his kids, his grandkids, his life before god, & all this stuff. like OKAY. get on with it.
& you know you’re tipsy when you’re laying down on the couch, half asleep, but eating a stick of bbq & somewhat singing along to the karaoke lol.
k, night.
